How to get your husband home from a softball game

You make good chicken, send him a picture with the quote...

"It's getting cold honey!!"

So easy you can't mess it up. Only five (5) ingredients: chicken, extra virgin olive oil, 1/4 sweet onion, one (1) carrot and three branches of fresh rosemary.

So this is how I started this delicious meal: I got home from work at the same time my husband was leaving for his Thursday softball game with the boys. I had chicken in the fridge ready for cooking so I stayed home.  I started by grabbing my handy kitchen scissors and headed outside in the rain soaked back yard. My sliding glass door has not been opened for at least a couple of weeks because of the monsoon we've been having. I slide the door open and a fluorescent green spider jumps out of nowhere to pulls a Charlotte, and at eye level, waves all it's eight little hands and says hi. If you know me and spiders then you know my reaction. All at the same time, my right leg gets knocked over from under me an my dog is in the yard. DAMN IT! 

One arachnoid murder, two large muddy holes, a back yard game of catch me if you can and a dog with digested mouthfuls of dirt; I resort to my secret weapon. One large, thick, juicy, fresh deli turkey slice. She knew why it was there and she was not ready to come in. I placed it on the floor inside my kitchen and got behind her. Paranoid and panting, Layla couldn't stand it anymore, she inched closer and I finally cornered her. I pushed her in and shut the door behind her.

OK, so... Back to the first ingredient: I used my scissors to get three branches of fresh rosemary.

And OOOoooo look at what this rain is doing to my basil!!  I kept looking back and forth thinking, basil or rosemary, basil or rosemary. I stuck to the plan.

The rest is easy. I used chicken thighs because dark meat has so much flavour and the skin keeps the meat juicy while is cooks. I cut up 1/4 of a large sweet onion in slices (about 1/8 inch thick, if cut thinner they burn too easy), and did the same with the carrot. I sauteed them in a two inch thick pan with extra virgin olive oil. I never measure so just put enough to cover the bottom but not so much that they are swimming. They'll never cook that way.

My secret about sauteing onions is that you really can't walk away. Just stir occasionally so they don't burn or stick. The onions are ready when they begin to smell delicious and become translucent and soft. I placed the burner on a little higher than medium for the whole recipe. The carrots are really easy to cook, if you just pay attention to the onions, the carrots will be ready at the same time. Then take all the leafs off the rosemary branches and add to the mix, sprinkle a little salt and fresh grated pepper on the chicken and place them skin down atop the mixture.

Now you can walk away. For just a little bit. Pour a second glass of wine... If you're reading this blog, I know I didn't have to tell you to pour the first one. I on the other hand, didn't plan this, so I took a sip of my soda.

Don't touch the chicken until the skin is a nice golden crunchy brown. At that point the chicken is half cooked. You can peek to check for the color but don't turn until ready. You'll know it's ready when the chicken is not sticking anymore. Then when it's ready to turn, you'll want to stay by the stove and turn it often so you keep the chicken nice and tender. I kept on moving the mixture under the cooking chicken. And voila' chicken is done!!

If you don't have a favorite go to side item I have two suggestions. This easy, breezy, chicken recipe is paired really well with sweet potato fries or a simple veggie mix.

 - Sweet potato fries: cut one potato per person into strips. Sweet potatoes are really hard so use a really good knife. If you don't have a really good knife; go to the store, buy two, keep one and bring me the other. I don't have one either! Place the sweet potato strips on a metal cooking sheet with chipolte seasoning, pepper, salt, a drizzle of extra virgin olive oil and roll them around to spread the mix. Don't use wax paper, save the wax trees. Bake for 20-25 minutes at 420 or till Crispy:) YUMMMM!!!!!!!!!!! You can even pan fry these if you want, but they will smoke up your house so I don't recommend it.

- Veggie mix: in a medium pot mix frozen pearl onions (every time I see one cooked I think of Donald Duck's butt in the Three Caballeros), peas and veggie medley (corn, peas, green beans...) pinch of salt, a little extra virgin olive oil and cover with filtered water. Start cooking this first before the chicken. Cook at a little above medium with no cover, by the time the chicken is done this should be ready to eat also. Make sure the water does evaporate completely while cooking. You can add more water but do allow to evaporate by serving time. If you are not scrunched for time, you can start this recipe by sauteing some sweet onions in extra virgin olive oil then add the ingredients listed above and cook at a lower setting for about 1 1/2 hours. You might need a little more wine if you cook it this way.

Then 5 minutes before sitting down to eat, take picture, text to hubby and wait. He'll be home in a Jiffy:)

(Then take picture post on facebook and get requests for recipe:)

Enjoy Girls!!! Let me know how it comes out!!!

Disney, you're so naughty!!!

Disney’s animated films are famous around the world and it’s no secret that most include a little sexual slip-up not intended for their designated audience. It might be to add a competitor’s edge, or enhance the collectable value of first editions; or it might be the contributing artist’s goal to leave their individual mark on a timeless masterpiece that will be viewed by generations. For whatever reason, it has been tirelessly argued, analyzed and scrutinized. Rather than getting all deep and philosophical, let’s have some fun and collect them all.

This is a work in progress; I’ve collected the information I have with the corresponding proof. I need you to help me by posting comments with links to videos or pictures to back up your claim.


Disney’s Naughty List:


Aladdin:

In the scene where Aladdin and Jasmine are to take a magic carpet ride, Aladdin calls on Jasmine to come with him, and continues to speak under his breath “teenagers take off your clothes”.



The Little Mermaid:

The first VHS cover featured a gold castle with a penis tower.  I actually have this first edition so I know for a fact that this is not photoshopped.  It has also been said that the original promotional posters were peppered with little secrets.

Officiant gets an erection, it has been argued that it's his knee.  You be the judge.



The Lion King:


The segment in question occurs about midway through the movie when Simba, the hero, plops down and a cloud of dust rises above him. As the dust begins to trail off, it forms the letters S-E-X, with each letter fading as the next becomes clear.

The Rescuers:


Questionable background image : “Just at the start of the film, as rodent heroes Bianca and Bernard fly through the city in a sardine box strapped to the back of Orville, proprietor of Albatross Air Charter Service, the photographic image of a topless woman can be seen at the window of a building in the background in two different (non-consecutive) frames: first in the bottom left corner, then at the top center portion of the frame.”

Who framed Roger Rabbit – I KNOW THIS IS NOT DISNEY!! But still worth noting!!


Donald Duck calls Daffy a ni**er.



Jessica Rabbit does a Sharon Stone.

Disney has been quite a naughty boy. Let's see if you can find me some more examples to add to this list.  Happy hunting!

Stuffed Green Peppers

Last Thursday while flipping through the pages of a gossip magazine, I came across the most delicious picture of roasted, vegan-stuffed green peppers. Though I was not in the mood to break out the grill and my view of veganism has the same nutritional content and satisfaction level of eating seasoned notebook paper; I decided to do it my way and make up a recipe.

My first step of creating a recipe is to ask myself "What do I crave right now??”  I definitely wanted the green peppers, meat and substance, but I was feeling the need for a little kick. So this is what I used: remember I never measure so... he he good luck :)

4 green peppers.
1 red hot chili pepper.
1/2 sweet onion.
Minced garlic.
1 pound of ground beef.
1 bag of Jasmine rice (you won't use it all).
1 regular can of tomato sauce.
1 regular can of stewed tomatoes.
Extra virgin olive oil
Water.
A couple of pinches of salt.
1 beef bouillon cube.
Cajun seasoning.
Basil.
Oregano - just a little pinch. Too much will taste like pizza sauce.
One very deep pot with a lid.

Start with slicing your 1/2 onion very thin, place in pot.  Take the chili pepper and cut in half, then chop up really finely and with all the seeds, also add to the pot.  Add a knife tip of minced garlic and a three count of extra virgin olive oil to the mix and turn on the heat to medium.  You will need to watch the onions and mix around quite frequently.  Add in the bouillon cube.  Cook the onion mixture till the onions are a little see-through and mushy.

When the mixture is ready, throw in the meat to brown and sauté.  In the meantime, clean your peppers by emptying out the seeds by cutting the top off horizontally.  When the meat is all brown, add half of the tomato sauce and all of the stewed tomatoes to the mixture. At this time you can also mix in three shakes of Cajun seasoning and a couple of pinches of salt. 
Let the mixture heat up while adding one cup each of jasmine rice and water into the mixture.  Mix around for a couple of minutes before stuffing the peppers. 

Fill the peppers only 3/4 of the way and place them right side up in the pot.  Make sure that there is still some mixture at the bottom of the pot.  Now take the rest of the tomato sauce and evenly distribute between the four peppers, sprinkling three pinches of basil and one pinch of oregano, don't mix, let it sit.  Now you can cover the peppers with the pepper tops. Pour in between the peppers about a half of cup of water and still at medium temperature, let it sit for about an hour with the lid closed.  Check every 15 minutes - don't open the peppers, but just make sure you don't have the mixture around them burning; if it is just add a little pinch of water, but don't mix it.

And voila!!  Grate some of your favorite parmeggian cheese and enjoy.  This meal is also a favorite leftover, always good after being microwaved!

Leave me your comments, reviews or suggestions.

Rules of an Italian Kitchen

I never follow a recipe more than once.  Obviously you have to try other people's methods before you venture on your own, it saves time and ingredients.  But I can say that I've possibly never followed a recipe to the exact measurements and the second time around, I change it up to add my own spice and flair but I do follow a few simple rules.

Like said, cooking is also an art and the cook the artist. The painter looks at color, the sculptor feels the texture but the cook envisions, feels, tastes and smells their creation. No art is ever appreciated as much or the same as a simple, full bodied, aromatic hot dish. Professionally, the cook is the most successful artist; one that I suppose you can say will never be a starving artist.  I'm not a trained cook by any means, but my experience is very extensive and I’m professionally home trained from when I was very little when my grandmother and I would spend hours in her kitchen.  Before my time she owned a restaurant in a quiet Italian countryside village and she was passed down concepts and ideas that in turn she passed down to me.

Without breaking the confidentiality of generations of passed down secrets I would like to share the basic concepts of great Italian cooking, I guess you can call them rules we live by.

The first rule of great Italian cooking is clean fresh water.  Use filtered water any time it is called in a recipe, even if you will end up dumping it out when you make pasta. Dirty tap water can adulterate the taste and add bitterness to your meals.  There is a reason why New York City and Italy are famous for their food. Their tap water is amazing and does not need any filtering, but most of us are not so lucky.  So, splurge for a water filter for your kitchen tap like one from http://www.purwater.com/ or simply use your refrigerator water dispenser, you will immediately taste the difference.

Food freshness. As we Italians say, it's not the quantity of the ingredients but the quality.  Great Italian cooking is the art of taking great ingredients and combining them together.  You might think you would save money by buying in bulk, but in reality it creates waste or if you stick to the frozen section, you are stuck with freezer burns and a bland taste.  To succeed in this category you will require some planning, each week plan out your meals and purchase fresh meats and vegetables that are multifunctional and that can create a variety of dishes my mixing up the combination.

Moderation and variety.  Carbs are energy, meat is for iron, dairy is for calcium, vegetables and fruits are for your vitamins and so on. Everything has a purpose, chocolate is an antioxidant and red wine is good for your heart, so some say and I’m sticking to it.  A well rounded diet will keep you satisfied because your body is getting the nutrients it needs. This is how Italians are able to keep their portions small. Because you will be using fresh ingredients, there will be no need to lather on the butter or load up on salt. A usual Italian meal consists of a first couse usually a soup or pasta, fist sized, a second consisting of a meat and a vegetable also a small portion and a third of crackers, salami and cheese, a couple of pieces each not anything more.  Once a week, usually during Sunday lunch when the family gets together, a homemade dessert.

Always have a few key ingredients in your kitchen. Onions are the princess of the kitchen: "La Principessa Della Cucina", I will get into my love for onions later since about 90% of every recipe begins with onions. I prefer the large sweet yellow onions, they sauté slowly without much risk of burning and add a soft aroma and deepness to all my meals. You though it was garlic that Italians loved? I rarely use it. Parmeggiano Reggiano, the cheese with a bite.  This is mostly found in specialty fresh markets, the triangle of cheese that you can grate. It will last you a long time in the fridge which will compensate for the price.  To store wrap it in tin foil and a simple use would be to grate it over a simple plate of pasta and homemade tomato sauce and yummm! It also makes for the best risotto. Extra Virgin Olive Oil - the really thick kind, check it by titling the bottle and seeing how fast it moves side to side, now try another kind.  Buy the bottle that takes the longest to move, this will have the most flavor and in turn you will need to use less while cooking.  The last ingredient is to grow your own fresh herb garden by designating a portion of your yard.  The basics are rosemary, thyme and basil.  If you don't have a yard, small plants can be sustained in a kitchen or a windowsill.  Spices are expensive to purchase and they do not compare to the taste of fresh seasoning.  Save your money for the more exotic blends and don’t forget to water frequently.

 The last rule and the most important rule is love.  Love of food and love of the people you cook for.  No kitchen should lack passion and care.  Tend to your cooking, smell your ingredients, taste your creations and don't be afraid to experiment.  Buon Apetito!!